Guarded Hearts

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Well, my friends,  this is one of those ‘all in my feelings’ blogs. It’s about all of us having guarded hearts in some way.

In some form we all have guarded hearts. We have something that keeps us from opening that one door to our hearts. For some of us, that door is bigger than others. Some of us only have a small, little lock on that door.  Some of us have every padlock and chain on it that we can find so that we can keep every single soul out.

Some of us guard our hearts because we just don’t trust easily. Some have been hurt so badly by someone they gave their heart to. Some have just been through such a harsh tragedy that they just refuse to go through that hurt ever again. Hell, for a few it may even be all of the above, plus some.

But in the end it’s either we die lonely, with a guarded, angry heart or we finally find that one person that makes us see that we can let down that guard. For those of us lucky enough to meet that perfect person, we learn that life can go on with all the love in the world and a heart that we can finally let go of and trust someone with.

For me, most of you know my story, I was one that was guarded for many reasons. My step-dad and his shenanigans when I was little girl really scarred my heart, bad. Then I thought I found someone who was going to help me love. He would end up being my first husband. Well, that was a mistake. He just found other ways to hurt me and make me guard my heart even more. I then met my most current ex. I thought, hey, a girl won’t hurt me like the men in my life have. Granted, she did help me overcome a lot of my past. But at the same time she found even more ways to hurt me and make me guard my heart. So, needless to say, my heart had locks that were broken but then replaced with even bigger locks and heavier chains.

So, believe me when I say, I know all about a guarded heart.

But then one day this blue eyed prince came into my life. He showed me that love without limits is possible. Now,  I’m not saying all those locks are gone but he has found a way to unlock most of them. Unfortunately, some of those can’t be unlocked by him. Those are the locks that my good ol pops is unlocking. It has taken 34 years to finally find the two men in my life that love without adding hurt. Its a strange, but wonderful feeling to finally be able to slowly give my heart the freedom it deserves.

For any of you out there that have a guarded heart, it is possible to give your heart away without limits. There is that someone out there that can make you feel truly loved. Just don’t give up hope.
Never lose hope.

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